Vulenier

You know how it feels when there are certain things that you have to say?
And if you don't say it, you feel so terrible.
Yet you know that if you say so, things will be so different.
There is no meaning to it anymore if I have to say everything out loud.

In fact, I've said it even though I know I would not be able to reconcile at my end.
Till now, I've not regretted saying it.
The only thing that flashes across is, where is everything going to head towards now?
I don't like to label myself a certain way, but deep down, I just cannot help but act this way.
And being the sensitive me, I just feel so....

Do you even understand?
It's not about how it's going to be.
It's about the process.
And the sincerity.
And I'm suppose to feel that it's coming from you.

Why do I feel so alone now?
Why do I feel like I'm driving someone to the wall?

Maybe, it will never happen to me at all.
Much as I would want to be cool about it, I'm never a cool person to begin with.
There is no way I can act as if nothing has happened.
There is no way I can act as if I am a person who does not have wishes and dreams.

I probably can.
I probably have to.

And I will not be me anymore.

Is there anymore meaning to this whole thing?